ONE

“For God’s sake Jon, will you get off the damned phone and get ready to go?  We’re on a schedule here!”

Jon turned around, his iPhone pressed to his cheek.  “But this is…”

Cate crossed her arms and lowered her chin.  “It ain’t that important.  It can wait.”  Before Jon could respond  Cate had closed the space between them with three swift strides.  She snatched the phone from Jon’s hand and held it to her ear.

“He’ll call you back tomorrow, Obie.  Late tomorrow.  We gotta go.”

With that declaration she dropped the phone and tapped the screen, ending the call.

“But Cate, we’re working on…” Jon’s protest was cut short by his wife’s finger against his lips.

“I know.  The Project.  Jon, the Project will still be there tomorrow.  I’m sure Obie’s ready to call it a night.  It’s already almost midnight in Jersey, for fuck’s sake.”  Cate pressed her finger more firmly against Jon’s lips as he tried to argue.  “Enough, Jon.  No more work.  It’s Bachelor Party time.”

Jon grinned despite himself, then puckered his lips against her finger.  “There’s something I never thought I’d hear my wife say,” he chuckled softly.  Then he sighed as Cate dropped her hand.  “But Baby, I told you.  I can’t go.”

Cate let out an exasperated little growl.  “Jon, we’ve been over this.  You’re going.  End of discussion.”  She snorted ironically.  “And since when do you turn down the chance to go to a strip club?”

“You know damned well as soon as the paparazzi figure out I’m here they’re gonna stalk me.  They stake those places out.  It ain’t like you set this thing up at one of the high-roller VIP clubs where I can sneak in and out a private entrance.  They’re gonna show up in fucking droves as soon as word gets around.” 

Cate smiled at Jon’s grumbling.  He had been pissing and moaning since this morning, when he had spent way too much time on the phone playing business tycoon.  He had even missed the afternoon's casino-hopping because he was working.  Now he claimed he felt like an outsider, said he didn’t want to ruin everybody’s fun. 

But Cate knew the truth – her husband was really looking forward to Danny’s bachelor party, probably even more than she was.  It wasn’t often Jon got to be just “one of the guys.”  He relished the opportunity when it arose.

“Hey, I offered to book Crazy Horse or one of the exclusive places.  But Danny didn’t want this to be a big hairy deal.”  Cate crossed her arms and gave Jon a stern look.  “This is his party, and he wanted it to be just normal-guy debauchery.”  She smirked at the phrase.  “Something I’m reasonably sure you remember.”

Jon exhaled wearily as he ran a hand though the front of his hair, leaving it sticking out in all directions.  “I don’t want to ruin it for Danny and the guys, make it a fucking circus.  They should get to enjoy themselves without all the Rock Star paparazzi bullshit.”

Cate arched a brow at her husband.  “My my, don’t we have a high opinion of ourselves?”  She reached out to tug at the belt of the plush velour bathrobe cloaking Jon’s freshly-showered body, towing him a step closer to her.  “Like anybody’s gonna care if you’re around?  This is Vegas, Baby.  There are celebrities crawling all over this place every single day.”  She slipped her arms around his neck as Jon’s hands settled on her waist.

Jon rolled his eyes.  “Oh puh-lease.  You know damned well I’m right.  Once the paps get wind that I’m at Cheetah’s they’re gonna hound me to death.  Pics of Mr. Family Man at a strip club?  Fuck.  Hello or OK or the fucking Enquirer will pay BIG bucks for those.”

“Yeah, so?” she countered sassily.  “It’s not like you’re gonna get in trouble with your Wife.  Considering she’ll be there with you.”

Jon snorted softly at her argument.  “You’re the one who’s always saying I have to think about my image.”

“True.  But nobody’s gonna bother you tonight.  They won’t even know you’re there.”  Cate smirked secretively.

Jon’s eyes narrowed.  “Oh, you can guarantee that, can you, Miss Party Director?”

Cate leaned up to place a playful kiss against his pout.  “Yeah.  I can.  At least 99 percent.”

“How?”

A loud pounding at the suite’s door interrupted Cate’s reply.  She grinned widely.  “Well, I guess you’ll see…”  With a coy wink she stepped away from Jon, handing his phone back to him before turning to exit the bedroom.

“What the fuck is she up to now?” Jon muttered, shaking his head.  He looked down at the iPhone in his hand, then shook his head again.  No, he better not risk calling Obie back.  Cate would have his ass. 

With another quiet snort Jon tossed his phone onto the bed.  Shoving his hands deep into the robe’s pockets, he wandered out into the suite’s airy living room, led by the sound of raucous masculine laughter. 

Jon was not at all prepared for the sight that greeted him.  His mouth fell open for a moment before curving up into an amused grin.

“What the fuck is that?”  Jon pointed at the quintet of men posing and preening beside the coffee table.  “Jesus…”  His swear was broken by his chuckle.

“What, you don’t recognize us?”  Danny grinned impishly at his Best Friend-in-Law.  “Hell, Jon… you of all people should get this.”

“Uhh….”  Jon shook his head again, laughing heartily as he took in the spectacle before him.  Danny and his buddies looked like they had stepped off the pages of Circus magazine circa 1989.  They were outlandishly clad in bright spandex, black leather, and denim.   Huge shaggy wigs hid their short military-style haircuts. 

“You guys look like idiots.”

“Takes one to know one, Baby,” Cate giggled.  “C’mon, you can surely tell who’s who.”  She swept a hand toward the group, who struck goofy poses, sneers, and pouts in response.

“Okay… that’s Danny, and that’s Brandon… and Troy…”  Jon pointed at each man in turn as he named them.

“No, no, no…”  Cate rolled her eyes and moved over to stand beside Jon.  “Who are they dressed up as?” 

“Oh Jesus Christ.”  Jon rolled his eyes and laughed again.  “What is this, Name That Hair Band?”

“Yep.  Now go.”

Jon eyed the gaggle again, his senses almost overwhelmed by their loud outfits.  “Fuck, I don’t know…” He paused for a minute before nodding toward Bobby, the most distinctive of the bunch with his huge mop-like curly blond wig and clownish makeup.  “That’s gotta be Dee.”

Cate laughed.  “Yeah, well… that one’s easy.  Dee Snider is pretty unique.”

Jon pointed at Troy, who was sneering at him beneath a jet-black spiky wig and heavy mascara and eyeliner.  “And Troy’s either Nikki Sixx or Joan Jett.”  He grinned when Troy flipped his black polish-tipped middle finger at him in response.  “Ah, yeah.  Definitely Nikki.”

He regarded Brandon for a long minute, studying the straight blond wig and tight black-laced leather pants topped by a denim jacket over his bare torso.  “And you’re that punk Sebastian.”  Jon cracked up when Brandon let out a high-pitched, off-key wail in response.  “Jesus, don’t do that again…” he fake-whined, covering his ears.

Cate grinned at Jon and slipped her arm around his waist.  “Two left, Baby.”

“Well that one’s easy…” Jon nodded at the one member of the party he didn’t know, assuming the man to be Danny’s brother.  “Alice.”  The guy was a dead ringer for Alice Cooper with his gothic facepaint, leather and chains, and a riding crop tucked under one arm.

“You got it, Man.”  “Alice” stepped forward and offered his hand to Jon.  “Darren.  Nice to meetcha.”

“Hey Darren.”  Jon slipped his arm from around Cate’s waist and leaned forward to accept his handshake.  “Good to meet you too.”

“Okay, so that just leaves the Man of the Hour.”  Cate smirked at Jon. “Whaddya think?”

Jon looked Danny up and down, evaluating his patched lavender spandex lace-front pants, his ripped leopard-print tank, and the sparkly purple scarf tied across around the crown of his fluffy dirty-blond wig.  He chuckled at the massive gaudy rings on every finger of Danny’s meaty hands.  “I know.”  He grinned.  “Bret Michaels.”

Cate burst out laughing at Jon’s identification.  The rest of the guys also cracked up, Danny grinning at Jon as he stood shaking his head.

“What?”  Jon asked amusedly.

Danny waggled his eyebrows.  “Don’t make me turn around and shake my ass, Jon.  Slick might get all excited.  Even if she does own the original article.”

“Huh?”  Suddenly it hit Jon which 80’s rocker Cate’s best friend was costumed as for his evening on the town.

“What the fuck – you’re supposed to be ME?”  Jon half-laughed the revelation.  He rolled his eyes and groaned melodramatically.  “Jesus, I’ve looked better…”

“Yeah, well… so have I.” Danny replied.  “But Cate pointed out I’ll get all the attention at the club tonight, and not just because it’s my damned party.”  He snickered.  “She says JBJ is a stripper-magnet.”

Jon cocked his head toward Cate and gave her a fake glare.  “SmartAss.”

“Hey, Baby… if the spandex fits…”  Cate gave Jon a sassy smirk.

Jon laughed again as she shook his head slowly, giving the partygoers another once-over.  “Well, you guys are gonna have a blast, no doubt.  You look great.”

“What do ya mean, ‘You Guys’?” Danny asked, his expression sobering slightly.  “And why the fuck aren’t you dressed yet?”

“Danny, I can’t go to the Cheetah.  It will be a fucking madhouse once I get recognized.  And it ain’t exactly like I can lay low now, with all you guys dressed up like a bunch of my fucking backup singers.”  He smiled apologetically.  “Sorry, Man.  I don’t want to ruin your party.  You guys go, have a good time. ”

Danny let out an exasperated sigh and exchanged a look with Cate.  “Yeah, Slick, you were right.”  He turned his eyes back to Jon, giving him a stern look.  “Listen, Man… we’re not fucking going without you.  So get your ass dressed and let’s get on with the Goddamned party!”  He waved a hand to cut of Jon’s attempted protest.  “Jon, just for once shut up and listen to your wife, will ya?”

Danny’s stern order silenced Jon.  When he turned to look at Cate, expecting to see her smug smile, he was surprised by her absence.  Half a minute later she strolled back into the room, carrying a zippered duffel bag.  Jon suspiciously regarded the item in her hand.

“Baby, I told you nobody’s gonna recognize you.”  Cate smiled gently and tugged open the zipper.  Jon’s eyes widened as he saw a mass of shiny black fibers inside the bag’s gaping mouth.  His jaw dropped as Cate withdrew two dark wigs from the bag and tossed it on the floor.

Cate giggled at Jon’s expression as she untangled the wigs, taking one in each hand and carefully shaking them out.  When they hung limply she raised them for Jon’s evaluation.  “You even get to pick.”

Jon warily eyed the thick shags in his wife’s hands.  Both were almost jet-black, one with curly faux-tresses and one with straight.  “Cate, what the fuck…” 

Cate smirked sexily at Jon.  “Well, we can’t have you looking too much like yourself, right?  So I thought maybe you’d like to be Slash….”  She held out the cascade of curls, offering it to him.

Jon arched a brow at his wife.  “Slash, huh?  You’d like that, wouldn’t you.”  He smirked with his tease, well aware of Cate’s crush on the sinewy guitarist.  “You planned all this just to get me to do a little naughty fantasy-dress up, didn’t ya?”

“No, I just thought this would be the easiest way to disguise you.”  Cate’s voice was calm but held a teasing lilt.  “Hell, you can hardly see his face under all that hair and that top hat.  Add some shades and nobody will ever suspect it’s you.”

Jon chortled, unconvinced.  “Uh huh.  Okay, Baby.  If that’s the story you’re sticking to.  Whatever.”

“Well, I said you get to choose who you wanna be.”

Jon cocked his head.   “Oh?  Maybe I’ll be the other Dude then.  Whose hair is that?”

Cate grinned as she extended the other wig toward her husband.  “Richie’s.”

Jon snorted at Cate’s soft giggle.  Dammit, she had him.  “I ain’t gonna be fucking Sambora,” he half-mumbled, half-growled.  Stepping forward, he snatched the curly wig from Cate’s other hand.  “Gimme that Goddamned thing.”  Jon heard the hoots of laughter from the guys as he turned and stalked into the bedroom.

“The rest of the costume is in the closet!” Cate called after her husband.  She gave Danny and the Boys a triumphant grin.  “Told ya.”

“This is gonna be one fuckin’ wild night, ain’t it?” Danny stepped forward and draped his arms around Cate’s shoulders.  With an affectionate chuckle he lowered his forehead to touch hers.

“Damned straight, Slick.” Cate smiled back at her best friend.  “Would you expect anything less?”

“Nope.”

Cate giggled softly and leaned up to press a kiss against Danny’s stubbly cheek before stepping back.  “Okay Boys, I gotta get dressed too.  Make yourselves at home – we won’t be long.”

With a chorus of merry whoops the Hair Band headed for the suite’s bar.  Cate chuckled again and retreated into the bedroom, pulling the double doors closed behind her.

This was gonna be a damned fun night.